↳ 23 April - Birth (1564) and Death (1616) of William Shakespeare.
his lil “idek man i do what i want” shrug in the final gif tho
MY BROTHER TEXTED A RADIO STATION TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT AND THE RADIO STATION ACTUALLY READ IT OUT AND IT WAS “GREAT DAY AT THE BEACH WITH MY GIRL FROM HEYWOOD JABLOMI” AND THEY READ IT ALOUD AND THE ENTIRE RADIO WENT DEAD FOR A FEW SECONDS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED WHAT THEY SAID I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD
The Avengers are every person you see in high school.
The shy nerd
The asshole you just can’t hate
The hot foreign guy
The quiet guy who’s always playing guitar and probably smoking something
His bitchy/bad ass girlfriend (depending on if she likes you or not)
The emo kid that somehow gets all the chicks
And that one cheerleader that EVERYONE knows has a hard-on for the athlete
science has figured out how to open a portal to hell
- alcohol or lighter fluid
- Mix 4 parts powdered sugar with 1 part baking soda.
- Make a mound with the sand. Push a depression into the middle of the sand.
- Pour the alcohol or other fuel into the sand to wet it.
- Pour the sugar and baking soda mixture into the depression.
- Ignite the mound, using a lighter or match.
Oh tumblr, what would we do without you.
REBLOGGING AGAIN FOR THE EXPLANATION
Dammit, stop opening the windows to hell!
1. The meaning behind my URL
2. A picture of me
3. Why I love my bestfriend
4. Last time I cried and why
5. Piercings I have
6. Favorite Band
7. Biggest turn off(s)
8. Top 5 (insert subject)
9. Tattoos I want
10. Biggest turn on(s)
12. Ideas of a perfect date
13. Life goal(s)
14. Piercings I want
15. Relationship status
16. Favorite movie
17. A fact about my life
19. Middle name
20. Anything you want to ask
one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’
is this the same dad that once called you dad
no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit
new bra from victoria secret! :)
A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:
I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.
It has a little lettuce bow.
I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god